


the bruises you said you didnt want to fade

by alwaysayes



Series: beauty so calm and reposed [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bisexual Character, But not completely it changes settings, Fluff, Non-Binary Jehan, Other, theres seriously not enough jxp on this website
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 12:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7532878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysayes/pseuds/alwaysayes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, you’ve got someone waiting for you outside, just thought you should know. One of your friends get you a chauffeur?” Aurelie asked, leaning onto Jehan’s shoulder.<br/>Aurelie was their first friend at the safehouse, the first one that held them while they were sobbing. They were roommates at first, but now they just had rooms connected through a bathroom. She was a few years younger than them, but had been through much more.<br/>“Nah, I wonder who it is. I should be heading out anyway, see you this evening Courf, I have a thing after school today! See you, Aur.”<br/>“Bye, J.” She sent them of with a peck on the cheek, turning back to Courfeyrac.<br/>They stepped outside and saw Montparnasse, leaning against the tree in the yard, smoking a  cigarette.<br/>“Be more cliche, would you?” They remarked, going to bum a cigarette from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the bruises you said you didnt want to fade

**Author's Note:**

> title from tiny vessels by death cab for cutie, ive kind of been on a death cab for cutie kick recently, specifically [this album](https://open.spotify.com/album/0uzgpzN1ZsCNSwnsVUh4bQ). you can find me on my [tumblr](http://stantaire.tumblr.com/) enjoy !!!

The first time Jean Prouvaire heard the name Montparnasse it was a in a harsh whisper from a teacher as the previously named boy carved a snake into the wooden desks that filled the classroom. 

The second time was from the principal, third time was from Courfeyrac when the article came out that he had rescued a bunch of cats from a pet store. The fourth time was when they worked with him for a group project, nothing big.

The time they heard it that changed everything was when one of Montparnasse’s friend, constantly called Claque, nudged him on the elbow when he was looking over at their book, causing him to spill the Red Bull he was drinking all over it.

“Shit, C, you made me spill my drink all over his book!” He groaned, looking down at the soaked pages of the rare Keats book Jehan was reading in class.

“No, no, it’s fine. You didn’t really do anything a little sunny meadow can’t fix.” Jehan smiled, trying their best not to cry.

“No, man. It’s _not_ fine. I fucked up your book, let me buy you something or whatever you need. And Claque, fuck off, please.” Montparnasse replied, pushing his hair from his face.

“Montparnasse, you didn’t have to-” Jehan started, but he cut their apology off instantly.

“No, I’m fixing this.”

Claquesous cleared off and it was just the two of them, standing in an empty hallway after the final bell had rung that day.

“I’ve been observing you, little bird, and you seem to be more interesting than anybody else in that class, or more fitting, this entire town.” Montparnasse remarked, lighting a cigarette as he leaned against one of the lockers.

“Don’t smoke in the school, what are you, an idiot?” Jehan sighed, throwing the contents of their locker into their backpack.

“Not an idiot, someone with a fake ID. And a car, because I’m pretty sure I made you miss your bus.” Montparnasse shrugged.

“I don’t take the bus, I walk.” They retorted.

“Listen, please just let me drive you home, I need to get away from Claque, and I need to be sure you get home safely because Claque pissed at me, and by extension, pissed at you.”

“Fine. But listen, don’t expect me to talk to you in the car ride home.” Jehan sighed, closing their locker and flopping back against it, glaring at Montparnasse.

“Works for me. Where do you live?”

“I live in the house across from the library, the big purple one.” 

“That’s a half hour drive, little bird. How do you walk?” Montparnasse teased.

“Middle school track. Can we just,” They stopped to make a vague hand gesture. “Leave?”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

The ride to Jehan’s home was silent, filled with radio static and pop hits from the early 2000s.

“Listen, I apologize again for the book thing, I’ll buy you a new one-”

“It’s a first edition, Montparnasse.”

“My family is  _ rolling _ in it. I’ll buy you a new one.” 

“They’re so hard to find, have fun.”

Then, they were at their house, and Montparnasse waved goodbye as they walked in the house.

Jehan sighed as they slumped against the badly painted purple door, taking deep breaths as they ran their hands through their hair.

“Hey, Jehan!” Courfeyrac called from the kitchen. “You’e home early.”

“Hitched a ride.” They sighed in response.

“With who?”

“Montparnasse. He’s this kid in my last period class and I think I’m in love with him.”

“That’s the kid who rescued a bunch of stray cats from that alley, right?”

“Yeah. I think.”   
“Well he’s probably a bad influence, J.”

“Courf, you know what you told me when you got custody of me. You told me that you would never interfere on my love life, remember?”   
“Jehan, listen to me. He’s a bad influence.”

“Courf, you’ve never fucking met him. I’m going to my room.”   
“Jehan, you know I-”

He was cut off by Jehan stalking off to their room, slamming the door behind them. It wasn’t until they were slamming themselves down on their bed until they realized they had left their book in Montparnasse’s car.

They ignored the feeling in their stomach and walked over to the laptop on their desk, cranking up the speakers on their desk, filling the room with Walk The Moon.

A few hours later, Courfeyrac was knocking on their door.

“Hey, J, dinner. Everyone else is already down there. Enjolras is here tonight too.”   
“I’ll be down after I shower.”   
“Sorry, Aurelie is using it.”

“Ugh, okay. I’ll go down now.”

When Jehan opened the door, Courfeyrac was there, wearing his “#1 Dad” apron.

“J, we have to talk about this afternoon. I know you don’t mean to be too rebellious, but you really shouldn’t hang around him. I want what’s best for you, I don’t wanna be like your parents and tell you you can’t love who you love, but watch out. I know you don’t care for authority, I don’t either. But please watch out. I love you, J.” He said, pulling them into a hug.

“I love you too.” They said quietly.

“Never change kid. And when you  _ do  _ change, don’t go for the worse side.”

“I won’t.” They mumbled into Courfeyrac’s sweater.

“Let’s go get dinner now, kid,.”

Jehan nodded and pulled away from the hug.

They walked downstairs to see the other kids laughing among themselves, and their mind fell back to when they came out to their parents.

_ That night had been so serene. Their little sisters were dancing around their legs while they sat at their sewing machine, working on their Halloween costumes. _

_ “Hey, Mom, Dad, after dinner I have to tell you something.” _

_ “Okay, Jean.” His father said, peeking over his glasses. _

_ “Girls, leave your brother alone.” His mom tsked, as Jehan tried not to wince at being called their brother. _

_ “Ma, they’re alright.” _

_ That night after dinner, they came out as non-binary. They were fifteen at the time, just at the beginning of their sophomore year. Their parents called them an abomination and kicked them out that night, right in front of their sisters. After that, they bounced from friend’s house to friend’s house until a parent called DHR and they were put in foster care. _

_ They were put in Courfeyrac’s place when they were about to turn 16, trusting him almost instantly with everything.But they were okay now, things were different now. _

“Hey, kid, you alright?” Courfeyrac asked, looking them in the eye.

“Courf I can’t eat down here.” They admitted, tearing up.

“Hey, kiddo, it’s alright. You can go up to your room and I’ll make you a bowl, your favorite- spaghetti, lots of oregano.” Courfeyrac murmured, pulling them into a tight hug.

Jehan nodded and ran back up the stairs, finding solace in a blanket fort.

“J?” Courfeyrac asked, knocking on the door. “You in here?”

He was answered with the muffled sobs coming from their bed.

“Oh, hey, Jehan, I know it hurts, sh. I’m here.” He set down the bowl and made his way over to their bed.

“I know it reminds you of them, I know, it’s alright.” He soothed, running his fingers through their hair. They clutched onto his shirt and sobbed against him, trying to calm down.

Soon they had stopped crying, but they were still sniffling against him.

They pulled their face out of his shirt, still hugging tightly against him.

“Jehan, you know you may never get over it, and that’s okay. I can be your family.” 

“I know. You are.” The whispered, and Courfeyrac hugged them tight, in a most Courfeyrac way.

“JBM are here, if you wanna see them.” Courfeyrac said a few minutes later.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect right now.”

Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta were, in Jehan’s mind, the best people in the world.

Courfeyrac went downstairs to get them.

A few minutes later, he came back upstairs with the three of them, grinning wide.

“Hey, kiddo.” Musichetta smiled.

“How are you?” Joly asked instantaneously, jumping into doctor mode.

“I’ve been better. But I don’t know. I don’t think I can do school tomorrow because I’ve just been getting worse and… fuck.” They said, curling up under the blanket nest with the bowl of pasta.

“Hey, you can feel sad every once in awhile, Jehan. It’s human nature.” Bossuet tried.

“Wanna go roller skating with me tomorrow after school lets out?” Musichetta asked.

Jehan nodded.

“Cool. You still fit your skaates, yeah?”

The skates Chetta, Bossuet, and Joly had bought them for their birthday tha year, with kisses pressed to their forehead.

Musichetta sat down beside them, undoing their braid.

“Your braiding skills are getting a little sloppy, you know.” She remarked, starting on their hair. They sighed into the familiar touch, leaning into her.

“Joly, you start the incense,” She instructed. “B, you go get the parmesan cheese, and get the kid something to drink.”

Joly and Bossuet nodded, falling into place.

That night was one of their best in a while.

They fell asleep under all their blankets, content.

…

They woke up to a blaring alarm clock.

They groaned, digging the heel of their palm into their eyes, rolling over.

A text on their phone was the first thing they saw.

**chetta:** j&b say hbd!! happy birthday love you pipsqueak

**j-prou:** thank U chetta!! love the boys 2!!!

**chetta:** ill tell em!!

Jehan grinned down at their phone, grabbing their glasses from their nightstand. 

They rolled out of their bed and changed into their outfit for the day, an old pride t-shirt they stole from Courfeyrac and a pair of skinny jeans, complete with their glittery salmon loafers.

They walked downstairs after running a brush through their unruly hair and swiping glitter on the corners of their eyelids.

They plopped down at the kitchen table, much to Courfeyrac’s dismay, who was trying to sneakily finish icing their cake.

“Morning, birthday kid. How’s it feel to be eighteen?”

“I don’t know. It feels the same, just closer to death.” They grinned, swinging their feet as the other kids filed into the kitchen.

“Hey, you’ve got someone waiting for you outside, just thought you should know. One of your friends get you a chauffeur?” Aurelie asked, leaning onto Jehan’s shoulder.

Aurelie was their first friend at the safehouse, the first one that held them while they were sobbing. They were roommates at first, but now they just had rooms connected through a bathroom. She was a few years younger than them, but had been through much more.

“Nah, I wonder who it is. I should be heading out anyway, see you this evening Courf, I have a thing after school today! See you, Aur.”

“Bye, J.” She sent them of with a peck on the cheek, turning back to Courfeyrac.

They stepped outside and saw Montparnasse, leaning against the tree in the yard, smoking a  cigarette.

“Be more cliche, would you?” They remarked, going to bum a cigarette from him.

“Oh, little bird, you smoke?”

“On my birthday.”

“Happy birthday, you left your book in my car, and I got you a new one.”

“You found another first edition copy of  _ Poems by John Keats _ ?  _ Overnight _ ?”

“Yeah, I have a few contacts.” Montparnasse shrugged, lighting Jehan’s cigarette.

“Are you in a gang, scarecrow?”

“Nope, just know some.”

“Well, let’s get going, I always get to school early enough for breakfast, no matter how gross it is.” Jehan said, making their way over to the car with the cigarette between their teeth.

Montparnasse laughed.

When he laughed, it was never condescending, more like a warm fire radiating heat to an entire room. It was never cold, it was always inviting and Jehan loved it.

He unlocked the car, holding the door open for Jehan as they slid in, then walked over to his side and got in.

“So, little bird, how old are you today?” He asked.

“Eighteen. How old’re you?” They asked in return, biting at their nails.

“Just turned seventeen last week.” Montparnasse remarked, driving down the road.

“Holy shit, you’re a  _ baby _ .” Jehan laughed, taking in a deep breath.

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be Peter Pan and be forever young. Want breakfast? We can stop somewhere.” 

They stopped at a McDonalds and got breakfast, and the rest of their car ride was filled with The Smiths and laughter from the two of them.

When they arrived at the school, Montparnasse handed Jehan the book.

“I’ll see you in last period, Prouvaire.” 

With a kiss on the forehead, he was gone.

…

The day would have gone great. It would have been a great birthday whee nothing went wrong but of course, something had to get thrown down the drain and happen and ruin everything.

The moment they stepped out of the classroom at the end of the day to go to their locker their face fell.

The word  _ faggot _ was written on the locker, in ink so red it could almost represent the blood of the people fallen because of that word. 

They kept it together untill Montparnasse was in the hallway with them, walking to his car.

“Jehan, are you alright?”

They choked back a sob and disguised it as a laugh.

“That’s what I thought. Come on, we can go get ice cream and cry it out over a Disney movie?” Montparnasse suggested.

Jehan nodded.

“Can I hug you?” 

They nodded again.

Montparnasse held them close, settling his chin on the top of their hair.

Jehan clung to Montparnasse’s leather jacket, letting everything go.

“Crying is always okay, little bird.”   
“Montparnasse, it’s just,” They sniffled. “So fucking  _ hard _ for me.”

“You don’t have to talk until we’re in the car if you don’t want to.”

The hug broke apart and Jehan left all their stuff sitting on the ground next to their locker as they walked out with Montparnasse.

When they got in the car, Jehan was still sniffling and Montparnasse was being as gentle as he possibly could with them.

“Jehan,” He said, once they were calm. “I understand why that might get to someone, but why is it affecting you so much?”

“Fuck,” They breathed, “I’m non-binary and bisexual. My parents kicked me out because they didn’t want a  _ faggot for a son _ .” 

Montparnasse was silent.

“I’m a demiboy. And I’m pansexual.” He said  after a few minutes of silence.

“Oh, God. This just makes it worse.” Jehan sighed, slumping in their seat.

“How? How does this make it worse?” Montparnasse asked, genuinely confused about what Jehan was thinking.

“I’ve… I’ve kind of been in love with you for a long time oh my god, and you never noticed or really talked to me but then you would do a small thing that had no intent of my making my heart melt but it did and-”

“Oh god. Me too, fuck.”

“Wait- shit. Are you serious? Oh my god. Fucking date me.”   
“Okay. Wait. It was that easy? I could’ve just like, asked you out?” Montparnasse laughed.

“Yes?”

“We’re both hot messes.”

“I’m gonna rush this whole thing, but wanna come to my place for dinner tonight? Birthday dinners always have way too much food and stuff, so…?”

“Why not. Let’s do it.”

“Are we still getting ice cream?”

“ _ Definitely _ .”

“Cool.”

…

As far as first dates go, it wasn’t uneventful. There was still the pain there, for Jehan. But it didn’t suck, in terms of dates. 

…

When they showed up to the house, Courfeyrac was sitting on the front porch on the phone.

“Yeah. Okay. Got it.” Then he paused. “Ferre, I’m not going to interrogate them. OKay. I love you too, see you soon.”

He hung up and smiled down at his phone as Jehan and Montparnasse walked up to the porch, hand-in-hand.

“Hey, so, Courf. This is my…” Jehan started.

“Boyfriend. I’m their boyfriend. I’m Montparnasse, nice to meet you.” He said, sticking his hand out for a handshake.

“Courfeyrac, nice to meet you too.” He met the handshake and stepped aside so the two teenagers could walk inside the house.

The dinner went well, of course, Montparnasse was polite and Aureli and Courfeyrac kept bringing up things that made Jehan blush.

It was good. 

…

A few weeks later, they were sitting together in Jehan’s bedroom, curled up while _Atlantis_ played on the TV.

Jehan was half asleep, curled up in Montparnasse’s arms.

“I love you.” They murmured, tracing the lines of muscle on Montparnasse’s arm.

The seventeen year old was taken aback by the sudden announcement.

“I love you too, J.” He whispered back, running a hand through their hair. They hummed, leaning into the touch.

He pressed a kiss to their arm and let them fall asleep like that, curled up in his arms, and at peace.

…

Jehan was sitting on the roof, smoking a cigarette and reflecting on what they had said to him.

_ “Jehan, I’m trying. I’m trying so fucking hard for you. I haven’t committed any crimes since we got together, fuck I told you.” Montparnasse said. _

_ “Mont, I know you’re trying but you keep doing this bullshit and I just. I can’t.” _

_ “J, what did I do? Please tell me, because I don’t have a fucking clue.” _

_“What did you_ ** _not_** _do, Montparnasse? You didn’t answer me for a fucking week and a half straight, you didn’t answer a single one of my panicked texts or calls and I thought you were_ ** _fucking dead_** _. You would rather have me thinking you were dead than tell me where you were.”_

_ “Shit, J. I’ so fucking sorry, I never meant for it to turn out this bad. I meant to tell you that I would be out of state-” _

_ “But you  _ **_didn’t_ ** _. You didn’t and you left me an anxious mess for almost a week, I was such a fucking mess, Mont.” _

_ “Jehan-” _

_ “I can’t, Montparnasse. I fucking  _ **_can’t_ ** _ , not right now. Please leave.” _

_ Montparnasse turned around, walking off the porch as his leather jacket flapped behind him. _

They sighed as they inhaled the smoke.

That was three weeks beforehand.

**jehanjehan:** please come over

**monty:** why should i

**jehanjehan:** because im sorry and i love you and i wish i never told you to leave and i miss you and i need you to be here

**monty:** jehan please dont do this. dont play with me.

**jehanjehan:** im not playing with you mont i swear to god

**monty:** are you on the roof?

**jehanjehan:** you know that i am.

**monty:** i’ll be there in twenty. see you then, little bird.

Jehan put the cigarette out, snubbing it on the roof tiling.

They hummed a tune under their breath as they looked at the stars over them, breathing in and out, in and out.

When Montparnasse climbed next to them, everything felt okay again.

“Hey, little bird.”

“Monty. Fuck. I'm so sorry for everything I said I was just worried about you and I didn’t know how to tell you how upset I was fuck-”

“Hey. It’s alright. I love you, J.” Montparnasse soothed.

“Courf won’t care if you sleep in my bed tonight.”

“Do you want me there?” Montparnasse asked sincerely.

“I always do, Monty.”

They climbed off the roof and went to Jehan’s room, hand-in-hand.

… 

“Did you mean anything you said?” Montparnasse said afterward, tracing the freckles on the brown skin of Jehan’s back.

“I meant the parts where I told you I was a mess and I thought you were dead. But I would never  _ not _ want you here with me.” Jehan confessed.

“I love you, Jehan.”

“Mont, did we or did we not have t _ he best _ makeup sex in the world?”

“We totally did.”

Some old Death Cab For Cutie was playing and Jehan was humming along as Montparnasse dragged his hands up and down their back.

“I love you so much, Parnasse. I’m sorry I told you to go away when we both needed each other. I’m always gonna be at your side.” 

“I love you too, Jehan.”

“Can you grab my watercolors off my desk while I sit up and stuff?   
Montparnasse nodded, getting up to hand Jehan the paints.

Jehan sat up, pushing their hair from their eyes.

“What do you want and where?” They asked as Montparnasse lay down on his back.

“Something on my stomach. I don’t really care what, but you’re artistic enough to think of somethin’, right?”

“Of course. How does…  a cherry tree with skulls as blossoms sound?”

“Perfect.”   
Jehan set to work with painting as Montparnasse settled against the pillows on their bed, humming against Jehan’s touch.

When they were done, they smoothed their hands against the yellow skin on their boyfriend’s stomach, smiling.

“Done!” They smiled, sitting back on their heels.

“Can I go look in a mirror?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Montparnasse smiled as he saw the design they had painted on his stomach.

“It’s beautiful, J.”   
“You’re beautiful.”

“We both are.”

They fell asleep after that, limbs tangled up in the blankets, skin illuminated by fairy lights. 

…  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> once again, find me on my [tumblr!](http://stantaire.tumblr.com/) also, the song thats playing while they lay in bed is totally titles and registration, i just really love death cab for cutie and i feel like jehan listens to them + brand new.


End file.
